Untitled
by NekoYakumo
Summary: One shot thoughts on shounen-ai, KuramaHiei.. of sorts. Warning: Run from the suckiness. RUN!


Warning: Hinted thingies. See summary for detail. This was an idea... more or less, we have a voice in Kurama's head ruminating on things outside the body... of shounen-ai, of other things, and of being written in a rambling way on purpose.. and me making no sense, yess.

I'd make with the Japanese, but I... will just show this to you.

I am not...

I am not who I once was, years ago.

I am not a murdering thief who became human to escape death...

I am not he who was changed from becoming human...

And I am. All of them are the same, in a sense, and I am created of them...

I must speak, to live, for my body is the words I speak... I am, after all, the voice that whispers the words of the dark soul, the dark side... the voice of the original one, both of them and yet neither of them... yes.

I have experienced much whilst in this body, directly and indirectly... and I long to live again... or so does the voice of the murdering thief, whose bearer is unaware that his own words live... that they must forever echo through the soul in silent whispers if they wish to exist, for the word is all the body they have.

For now, all I can do is recount the experiences I have seen and felt in this body... hope that maybe when the true form overtakes this body that I can still live, still see it all, still feel it all... still experience it all... that I not become the part of the whole that I was, but still live as a fragment, still able to feel all this..

It is only desire, I say to myself.

It is only desire, I say, that drives me to that... why I say that, I do not know. Perhaps a voice telling me not to do what I must, to merely serve as the voice and not to feel it...

The strangeness of life, the feeling, the love, the existence... the life, and all of it insanity that any sane person could not comprehend, if someone were reading my words as I spoke them...

It is only desire, as is what is between them... between that other, the spiky-haired demon with the sword, and the shell I am part of.

I do not, of course, sound like either of them, I know, yes... But I am different, I am the voice, I live, I am words that must exist, I am... I am...

I must recount, yes... That I must...

It can only be desire between them, I know that... Yes, that is what it is. This is a human shell, with human desires... and the other, I can assume, is merely... an exception, if you will. Or the same... honestly, I cannot say, I cannot even say what I mean clearly.

It hardly seems like any more than desire, this love I see existing outside of this body... it hardly seems like it does. But maybe I do not see enough of it, being relegated to being just the voice of another...

I am insanity, far different than any of the two, and yet I am the same... but I must continue, yes, lest my existence not do the same...

But what was I speaking, yes? I must not stop- if I do, I cease to exist, until I live again... I do not know how I exist, only that I do, and only bits and fragments of everything about myself...

But yes. I must continue. I must.

Perhaps there is a reason that I hate this, yes...

Perhaps, that other part of me, the original... I do know that they had met when the original one of the two was not trapped in a human shell...

Perhaps, my hate is his hate... that he could not experience the desire that he had all that time ago... yes, that must be true... or is it? I don't know, really... I can only make conjectures, I can only make theories..

I can only whisper insanity away here down in this mind, where I am confused... I don't even think I've proven a point here, have I?

I'm talking to myself, talking about myself, and I wonder.. is it desire, or is it more? Is there really anything between them and him, he who is me and yet not me and the other... or is it as much an insane delusion as the nonsensical words that all come out of me, that all whisper..

Like what I'm saying now.

There must be a point.. I must be able to answer that which I've asked myself, yes.

Perhaps I can... I am him, and I am the other... and though I am just a shade of both, perhaps I can answer it...

I think...

That there may, or there may not be anything to see between those two... I know it's not something that really matters- or is it- this thing I'm asking about whether or not those two are in love, in a sense...

But I must speak, I must, or I shall be driven insane.

But, where was I... yes, I must not ramble like this, I must not.

There is something, but I cannot see it.. is it desire, or something more? It must be something, yes... it is communicated in their actions, in thoughts that are banished away as soon as they wink into existence, admittedly pleasing thoughts at that.

Yes, I do think there is something like love here... yes...

The deliberation is complete, it is time to whisper the voices across this soul, promising that the dark side shall overcome... but I wonder...

Perchance, is there some kind of desire between the original and the living shell who houses him?

Or perchance is it between that other one, that strange black-haired one..

Or between others..

I must wonder.. for it is all I have to do, being insane, being a fool... what else can I do, but spout contradictory nonsense and talk about love that lies before my eyes, simple love...

And give complex meaning to things so simple, and ramble endlessly.

I do not think a voice in the head should have its own thoughts, especially when they are jumbled and make no sense.


End file.
